Please note this login is to submit events or press releases. Use this page here to login for your Independent subscription. Username or Email Address. Remember Me. Add to Favorites. Man admits terror offence for wearing banned T-shirt supporting military wing of Hamas in Golders Green Wife of pilot, 67, weeps in court as he is jailed for 18 months for organising doomed flight that crashed Bus driver who was still at his stop refused to reopen his doors to let a stranded year-old girl on 'for Britain's job vacancies hit all-time high of 2.
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Aaaah, that's the wrong hole. You put your fist up the wrong hole. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that. Going in again. I'm sorry, bad news. It's a girl. Where's the trash can? No, no, that's what we wanted. LightsCameraJackson Julia. General Aladeen : I love being an Americans! America is number one! Oh, I am from U. My father also from U. My great-grandfather fought in the American Civil Jihad. I am very proud to be an American. I am America's number one douche. General Aladeen : [Speaking in Wadiyan] I've fooled them.
Job done. Nadal : [Speaking in Wadiyan] So, how are things back at the Palace? General Aladeen : [Speaking in Wadiyan] Fine, but guess who's still living in my guest house? Bin Laden flooding the bathroom every time he showers And how hard is it to put a bath mat down, Bin Laden? General Aladeen : [Speaking in Wadiyan] Hey, do you remember my favorite sports car? Nadal : [Speaking in Wadiyan] You mean your Porsche? General Aladeen : [Speaking in Wadiyan] Yes Nadal : , it's the best! General Aladeen : and I totally crashed!
A brand new Nadal : [Speaking in Wadiyan] You know, while you are here, you should try to see some of the sights such as the Empire State Building and Yankee Stadium. Nadal : [Speaking in Wadiyan] Hey, have your old back problems been bothering you?
General Aladeen : [Speaking in Wadiyan] Oh, it's been terrible! It got so bad that I made myself a back brace. Nadal : [Speaking in Wadiyan] Really? General Aladeen : Hey, my English is getting good. I bet I can count down from five faster than you can!
General Aladeen , Nadal : Five, four, three, two, one! Later, Aladeen and Nadal have their mug shots taken]. General Aladeen : You seem educated. Zoey : Yes, I went to Amherst. General Aladeen : I love it when women go to school. It's like seeing a monkey on rollerskates. It means nothing to them, but it's so adorable for us. Slade : Who the fuck are you? Osama Bin Laden's best friend? Although he has been staying in my guest bedroom ever since they shot his double last year.
Now the guy won't leave! I now know why this guy is the most hated man in the world. You just have to go to the bathroom after him. You go to the bathroom after Osama, you will realize the true meaning of terrorism.
Waiter : What is your name? General Aladeen : My name is Allison Burgers. Waiter : That is a made up name. What is your real name? General Aladeen : My name is Ladiz. Waiter : Ladiz what? General Aladeen : Ladiz Washroom.
Your name is like the sign. General Aladeen : My name is Emplyes. Waiter : Emplyes what? General Aladeen : Emplyes Mustwashhands. Tell us your real name. We are interested. We are all interested. General Aladeen : My name is Max. Waiter : Max? General Aladeen : Imumoccupancy Waiter : [notices sign "Maximum Occupancy Persons"] There is a number in your name.
What the fuck! And they accuse me of being an international criminal?
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